He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
