And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
