Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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