Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.