you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
