yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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