Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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