i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize