his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
