where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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