I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
