It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
