I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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