I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
