For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
