is your mom at the bar?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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