You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
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Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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