A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
