Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
