how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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