I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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