you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
