like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
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I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
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Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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