ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
