i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
