1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
