girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
