You smell like stripper and shame
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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