i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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