how can u be prego again
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize