True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
