I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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