i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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