Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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