You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
