You're so nebulous sometimes
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
