Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
