yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
