I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i love accidental penises.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
