"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
