Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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