is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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