I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
