when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
