So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
