dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
