who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Buhtt sex?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize