I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
