That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
