I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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