she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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