he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
