I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
