Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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(702): View more from Nevada

It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.

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(925): View more from California

It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.

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