I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
