Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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