i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
