He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize