I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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