Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
