It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
