I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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