I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize