So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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