FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
